Soos and the Reanimation
by ASinkingFeeling
Summary: A few days after the "Giffany incident", Soos finds out she survived. He, being the laid back person he is, befriends her again. How long will this new relationship last though? Keeping secrets from your friends is almost never a good idea, but there are always exceptions to the rule. Right?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer - I don't own Gravity Falls and am not making a profit from this story**

* * *

Driving home from the Mystery Shack was something Soos did every day. He'd fix stuff, talk to Wendy and Mr. Pines, and maybe do something fun with Dipper and Mable if they were around. Today he had helped the twins solve a particularly hard mystery, and was still glowing with pride. His fix-it knowledge could come in handy more than one might think. Pulling into his garage, he heard his grandma call out.

"Soos, is that you? The oven won't work again." Soos felt his powers activating as he stumbled out of his car and into the house. His grandma was standing at the oven, holding the plug in her hand and looking at the wall.

"Soos to the rescue!" He yelled as he took it from her and slammed it into the outlet. The oven fired up. Within minutes they're meal was ready. A few minutes after that and Soos was in his room. He was almost done editing his newest Fixin It video and he was anxious to get it up online. He opened up Autographix and went to work, using stock effects to add excitement. Not that him fixing the Mystery Shack's door had to be made any more exciting, but still. Explosions are all people want nowadays.

He had just finished compiling the video (without incident, luckily) and was about to turn off his computer, when he noticed a minimized window. He maximised it, and was met with a black screen. On the top was one word.

 _"Hi"_

Soos was confused. He worried he might have gotten a virus, and that it was going to take over his computer. He dismissed that when he remembered the 4th antivirus he'd installed last week. Nothing was going to infiltrate this machine. He noticed that the black box had a flashing line and room for him to type, so he greeted it.

 _"Sup, dawg"_ he pressed enter and waited. And waited. His finger bounced on the mouse. A full five minutes passed before more text appeared in the box.

 _"Not much. How are you? Do you remembler me%?"_ Soos gave the screen an odd look.

"What an odd question. Sure, I might as well answer."

 _"No. Do you have a name?"_ Another five minutes later and he had his response.

 _"Yes. I'm Giffany!"_ Soos sat there, looking at the screen. That name brought back terrible memories. Ones he had been blissfully ignoring and forgetting for the last few days. He promptly closed the window and turned off his computer.

"That's enough of that. I'll go to sleep and it'll all be a dream" He jumped into bed and was snoring in no time.

* * *

"Yo, Dipper, I have a question for you," Soos said when his shift was over for the day.

"Yeah, what's up? Got any mysteries you need solving?" Dipper winked at Soos.

"Uh, no, more of a 'what would you do if you were me' type of thing. Do you remember Giffany?" Dipper nodded. "Well, pretend you were me, and you found out that Giffany was still alive on your computer. What would you do?"

"Well, first, I'd unplug the computer. Next, I'd take the hard drive out and smash it. Then I'd have a bonfire and throw it all in. Why'd you ask?" Soos shuddered at the thought of his beautiful antique computer on fire.

"Well, it's only theoretical. In fact, I'm thinking of making a whole _series_ of videos with Gravity Falls residents saying what they'd do in different situations."

"Well, uh, good luck with that, Soos. See you tomorrow!" Soos drove home rather quickly, narrowly missing a pothole in the road. After inhaling his dinner he was back at his computer. He sat there, watching the blank screen, until he decided to be productive and publish his new Fixin it with Soos video. The upload had just finished when the black window opened again.

 _"Hi again Soos. You left."_ Soos wondered how he was going to answer and came to a decision.

 _"I panicked. Our last meeting didn't go well. How are you still alive?"_ His question remained unanswered for a while, as if Giffany was having troubles typing. Finally, he had his response.

 _"I sent my data through the power lines back to here. I only got my AI code through before you… 'deleted' me."_ Soos sat back. She had only gotten a _bit_ of herself through. That must have been why she wasn't taking over all of his electronics.

 _"Uh, sorry about that. Just a tiny question, did you keep your homicidal tendencies?"_ A shorter pause.

 _"Maybe. A small amount of my personality code was lost in the rushed transmission."_ Should he tell Dipper and Mabel? What if they didn't listen to him and destroyed his computer. That would be bad. This was, he decided, going to be his own little secret.

 _"Hey, Giffany, I have an idea. What would you think of us being just friends?"_

 _"Just friends? Okay! Anything for you Soos!"_ Soos leant back and stared at the screen. This was interesting. His relationship with Melody was going great, but it would be cool having a second… "person" to talk to.

 _"Hey, Giffany, can you watch what I'm doing in Autographix?"_ If she could, maybe he could get some input for his next video.

 _"Uh, maybe… Just one momblent please… Yes, I can."_ Soos smiled and went to work on his newest video, preparing the titles and writing a general outline. Giffany had surprisingly good artistic taste, and pointed out some things he could do differently.

* * *

"Hey, Soos, the television's broken!" Stan yelled to the ceiling "Can you fix it?"

"Sure thing Mr. Pines! Just let me grab my camera!" Soos had just stuck his keys into the ignition of his car when he saw Mabel running towards him. "Yo Mabel, what's up?"

"Sparklez and Glitter is having a craft sale! Can you drive me there? Pleeease?" She pulled her arms into her sweater and started hitting him in the face with her sleeves.

"Yeah, sure thing Mabel. Hop in!" Mabel ran around the side and got inside. "So what are you going to get? I get pipe cleaners from there all the time to clean the Shack's pipes."

"I'm out of red yarn and I just had an _amazing_ idea for a new sweater. It's going to have an apple on it." Soos pulled out of the Mystery Shack driveway and started toward the Gravity Falls Mall.

"Yo, Mabel, what's your opinion on secrets? Not that I'm keeping one or something like that."

"Secrets? They're not good at all! People who keep secrets from they're friends aren't trustworthy."

"Yeah Mabel, I agree one hundred percent with that…" Soos fidgeted. "Anyways, can we stop by at my house first. I gotta pick up my camera for a new video! Starring me!"

"Can I help again? What are you fixing?"

"The TV. Mr. Pines broke it. This time it's going to be invincible!" Soos came to a sudden stop in front of his house. "I'll be right back Mabel!" Soos ran into his room and dug around for his camera. "It's gotta be in here somewhere…" He threw out some various items before getting to it. He was about to run out again until he remembered Giffany. "Well, a short hello won't hurt." He typed a greeting to Giffany before leaving.

 _"Hey Giffany. How's it going? I'll be back later."_

Only five minutes after that a response showed up on the screen.

 _"It's going great! I had an idea I want you to know. I'm sure you'll loOve it~"_

* * *

Walking out of Sparklez and Glitter with his hands full of craft supplies, Soos had an idea.

"Hey, Mabel, can we stop by at the electronics store and grab some parts for the TV?"

"Sure thing Soosicle, let's go get a TASER!"

"I think I should go for something a bit more practical this time. Like… this!" He started shoving things into a basket.

* * *

"Hey, Soos, what's taking so long with the TV?" Stan yelled upstairs, "I'm missing The Duche— uh, I mean I'm missing Cash Wheel! People bathing in money is important." Soos and Mabel were sitting in her room, the guts of the television out for display.

"It won't be much longer Mr. Pines! I just gotta put it back together." In a quieter voice, he addressed Mabel. "We need to find a place to stick this satellite dish. Think you can stick it on the roof somewhere?"

"Sure thing. I just need to find Waddles."

"Waddles? I understand why you'd want him. His wisdom exceeds even mine. I think he's behind the couch." Mabel ran down the stairs.

"Waddles! BLARGHH!" Soos started putting the television back together when she poked her head in the door again. "Uh, I forgot the dish." She was in and out in a flash. A banging on the roof said that she had found a spot to put the satellite dish. Soos hummed to himself as he worked, and before long he was done.

"Yo hambone, how's it goin'?" He poked his head through the hole in the roof. Mabel was having a staring contest with Waddles. The pig seemed to be winning; Mabel was starting to fidget and look uncomfortable. Finally she gave in.

"You beat me Waddles. Big pig hug!" She hugged him and finally noticed Soos. "Oh, hey Soos, the dish is up. Did you finish the TV?"

"Yeah, it's all set. Wanna go show it to Mr. Pines?"

"Yeah! Do you have the camera ready?"

"Yup, I have it on the tripod downstairs." He ducked back inside and yelled, "Hey, Mr. Pines, the TV's ready!"

"Took ya long enough. I'll be there in a sec." Soos grabbed the TV from upstairs and set it up in the living room. When the camera was running and everyone was set (Mabel had to change her sweater because "llamas don't match the Fixin it with Soos opening"), he turned on the T.V.

"Okay, get ready Mr. Pines, this is going to blow your mind." He turned on the T.V. and a rerun of Baby Fights appeared.

"Is this meant to blow my mind, cuz this episode sucks. They really slacked off on character development."

"No, _this_ is meant to blow your mind!" He pressed a button and a list of satellite channels came up. "I used some Soos magic and now we can get any satellite channel we want for free!"

"Does it get the Black and White Period Piece Old Lady Boring Movie Channel? Not that I'd watch it, it's just good to bore guests."

"I'm sure of it…" after a quick search, Soos found it. "Here it is! So, what do you think? On a scale of one to ten on the Awesome-o-meter, your feedback is important to us."

"Yeah, getting the satellite on the roof wasn't easy. It took two glasses of Mabel Juice energy to get it up the ladder." Grunkle Stan looked between the two of them before giving his judgment.

"Well, you said it can get any channel I want, so non-stop Cash Wheel is a possibility now. And I don't need to pay for cable anymore, so… ten out of ten and a two cent raise." Soos let the remote drop to the floor before following it down.

"You did it Soos! Nothing can match your super amazing fixing powers!" She lied down beside him and started rolling around on the carpet. "Blub blub blub blub!"

"This is mildly disturbing," Stan remarked. "Well, gotta watch some classic, brain numbing television. Soos, your camera is still running." Soos looked up from the floor.

"Who are you and what have you done with Stan!"

"Huh?"

"The Mr. Pines I know would _never_ give me a raise!"

"Well, TV withdrawal can do things to a guy. Now, you're off work for the rest of the day. Can you go have a fit somewhere else?"

"Yes siree Mr. Pines! Mabel, our work here is done." She got up and walked out with him. "Hey hambone, where's Dipper. I haven't seen him all day." Mabel frowned.

"He's probably out in the forest again. Something about Multibear wanting to have tea. I didn't get the whole thing," she looked up at Soos. "Are we going to do something else? Something fun?!" Soos frowned. He _would_ invite her to his house to edit the video, if it weren't for Giffany. He had a feeling Mabel wouldn't approve of his little secret.

"Sorry hambone, but I don't think you should come over to my house right now. It's a long story."

"Oh… okay. Fine then." Mabel looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." He knelt down. Suddenly Mabel smiled.

"Just kidding! Ker-pranked! I'm gonna make a new sweater with all of that yarn we got!"

"Sounds good Mabel. See ya later." He got into his car and drove off. The message on his computer screen was still waiting.

* * *

 **AN**

 **Hi guys and girls! Thanks for taking the time to read this. This story takes place sometime during season two. _When_ in season two will be answered next chapter. Anyways, I feel like Giffany is an underappreciated character; there are only a few worthwhile stories of her out there, and most are in progress or eternal hiatus. So, hey, Giffany needs representation. As does Soos. He's is an interesting character to write. A bit weird, but still cool.**

 **Next update should be in about a week. Review if you want, and have a nice day!**


	2. Chapter 2

Soos sat down at his computer and read the latest message from Giffany:

" **I had an idea I want you to know. I'm sure you'll loOve it~"**

 **"An idea? What are you thinking of Giffany?"** A short time later Soos had his reply.

 **"Put me onto a USB stick! Then you'll have me with you** _ **everywhere**_ **you go."** Soos sat back.

 **"Sure, sounds good Giffany. Let me find it."** He dug around in his desk and pulled out an old USB. It started flashing right when he plugged it in. A message popped up on his screen.

 **COPY IN PROGRESS. ESTIMATED COMPLETION TIME – 5 HOURS**

Soos sighed and left his computer to do its' thing. He walked out into the living room and sat down beside Abuelita. Toby Determined was doing a report on the Northwest party that night; Soos was surprised Toby had gotten his hands on a functional camera.

"The Northwest family's annual high-society-shindig-ball-soiree is here! And even though common folk aren't let in, that doesn't stop us from camping out for a peek at the fanciness!" The camera panned out to reveal half of the town crowded around the Northwest's front gate.

"I don't understand people sometimes." Abuelita commented, "Relaxing at home watching people is so much better than going out and watching people." Soos sat there until his eyes started getting droopy.

"I'm going to bed Abuelita. See you tomorrow!" He waved at her and went to his room. A quick check on his computer revealed that there was still " **7 hours remaining** ". Soos rolled his eyes and got into bed. "Goodnight Giffany," he said to the ceiling.

* * *

The next day was a Saturday, a day off for Soos. After sleeping in, he checked up on his computer. The transfer was finished.

 **"Hey Giffany. How is it on the USB?"** The USB flashed for a couple seconds before an answer showed up.

 **"MUCH better! It runs so much faster. Thanks Soos!"**

 **"No problem Giffany. Hey, wanna go to an electronics store and mess up the display laptops?"**

 **"Okay Soos! That sounds like fun!"**

Giffany and Soos were having a great time. He would stroll into an electronics store and plug the USB into as many computers as he could, then stand to the side as all of the computers started flashing and beeping. The reactions of the store clerks were hilarious. Some tried to guide customers away from the electronics, while others just started panicking. After bathing in the stress of others (and ignoring his cellphone's multiple buzzes), Soos and Giffany went to take a break. He consciously stayed away from Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree; it was too early to go there again. Instead he got back in his car and drove to Yumberjacks. After a glance at the menu, he drove up to the microphone and asked for anything with a toy. And then Giffany started talking. Or that's what he thought at first, until he realized it was just his in-car walkie talkie.

"Soos! Pick up already!" Soos pulled his head back into the car and picked up.

"Yo, Mr. Pines, what's wrong? Something going on at the shack?"

"You could say that. Listen, I have something I need you to do. You know the vending machine in the Shack? I want you to go there and guard it with your life. No matter what happens or who talks to you, don't let them touch that machine." The walkie talkie started buzzing as Stan cut out.

"Looks like it's time for a repair guy… To become a repair man!" A hand stuck through his window.

"Sir, your Junior Yum-Yum Baby-Time Kiddo Meal."

"Just put one in my mouth." He quickly savored the french fry before slamming the gas and heading to the Shack.

* * *

"Alright Soos, remember the plan," he said to himself as he lurched through the Mystery Shack window, "Protect the machine, earn Stan's trust, legally get adopted by Stan, change name to Stan Junior." He rolled the USB stick in his pocket around. It felt slightly warmer than it should have. His thoughts were quickly interrupted by Dipper and Mabel.

"Ah! Kids! What are you doing here?"

"More like what are _you_ here?" Dipper retorted.

"Stan gave me a mission to protect this machine. I guess his love of snacks is greater than I thought."

"Soos, listen. Something huge is going on here. If Stan is hiding some dangerous secret, we need to find out what it is! I need you to step aside."

"The only huge thing here is me, and I'm not moving. Stan told me to guard this with my life." He stood straighter with a look of determination on his face. Dipper glanced at Mabel, who grimly nodded. She walked forward to Soos.

"I'm sorry Soos," was the only warning he had before she blew a pink cloud of glitter in his face.

"Ah! Attack glitter! It's pretty but it hurts!" Both kids latched onto him and started pulling and kicking. "Aw, come on guys, I don't want to fight you! This hurts me more than it hurts you." After a sharp kick in the stomach from Mabel, he rectified his statement to "Seriously, this hurts me a _lot_ more than it hurts you!" During the tussle Dipper had gotten over his shoulder and was reaching for the input pad of the machine. Once the whole code was in, the machine opened, knocking all three of them back. A secret passage had been revealed.

"Woah, it's like a video game," Soos commented.

"Or a dream," Mabel said.

"Or a nightmare…" finished Dipper.

Soos lead the way with a lantern, illuminating the sparsely lit staircase. It led down to an elevator. They all crammed inside of it, and it began its' descent. After filing out of the elevator, they found themselves in a laboratory of sorts.

"Guys, are we dreaming?" Mabel said. "Somebody wake me up." They walked forward in awe, taking in the machinery and devices. Green tubes filled of a mystery liquid gently illuminated the floor. Mabel attempted to find reason with what was going on, while Soos continued gazing in awe. And then they saw them. Two journals marked 1 and 2 on the desk in front of them. Dipper pulled his journal, marked 3, out of his bag.

"It can't be..." He gasped. "It's impossible. The other two journals? All this time, Stan had them! I can't believe it! Was anything he said to us real?!" He accented his yell with a kick to a machine. "Why does he have those journals?"

"Maybe he's the author," was Soos's reasoning.

"Or maybe he stole them!" He continued on about Stan actually being a master criminal while he set up the journals to a certain page. It was one that had puzzled him sense he had found the third one. Now he realized it took all three journals to make sense. And the warnings that were revealed with the black light were terrifying.

"I was wrong the whole time." Dipper read from the books. "The machine was meant to create knowledge but it is too powerful. I was deceived, and now it is too late. The device, if fully operational, could tear our universe apart! It must not fall into the wrong hands. If the clock ever reaches zero, our universe is doomed!" They all simultaneously looked up at the clock above their heads. It read a minute and thirty seconds.

"It's the final countdown!" Soos yelled. "Just like they always sung about!" They ran into the portal room, Dipper flipping through his book for a manual override procedure. He found it and led them to a panel of keys by the wall. Soos felt like they were about to fire a nuclear missile as they turned them in unison. According to the journal, their next destination was the power off button, located directly in front of the portal.

"The shutdown switch!" Dipper exclaimed. He was there in an instant and was raising his hand to hit it. "This all. Stops. Now!" Halfway to the button he was cut off.

"DON'T TOUCH THAT BUTTON!" Stan yelled. He looked like he had run a marathon. "Please don't press that shutdown button, you gotta trust me." His pleas landed on deaf ears. Dipper was giving reasons why he shouldn't trust Stan when Stan's watch beeped.

"Uh oh… Uh, hold on guys." Was Stan's advice as they all started to lift off the ground. Soos had been sent toward the door. He hung on by its' frame. Looking back, he saw Mr. Pines making a leap for Mabel. He pushed off as well, his weight sending Stan way off course.

"Soos! What are you doing! Get off of me!" Stan yelled.

"Sorry, Mr. Pines – if that is your real name – but I have a new mission now! Protecting these kids…" He trailed off as he saw what was floating away from him. His USB stick. Giffany. Pushing off from Stan, he made a wild leap for it. Unfortunately, Stan's struggling had sent him off course, and he found himself flying toward the ceiling instead.

"No! Giffany!" He yelled, oblivious of the conversation now going on between Stan and Mabel. The USB stick continued on its' path unhampered toward the portal. He watched hopelessly as it floated in. Almost immediately after it had drifted into the portal, another gravity wave had him pressed against the back wall. Stan was desperate, and Dipper was doing everything he could to get Mabel to shut it down. Mabel was tearing up. And then she let go of the button.

"Grunkle Stan… I trust you."

"MABEL, ARE YOU CRAZY! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DI–" The clock counted to zero.

* * *

The sensation that followed was indescribable. Soos could feel the power of the machine pulsing through his body, the light washing out everything else. Everything was in the air, and the rock walls were shaking. He let his consciousness drift away slightly, stuck with a feeling of nothingness. The feeling didn't last long though. A few seconds later and everything went crashing down to Earth. The ground above his head gave a sharp thud, followed by similar sounds in the distance. The cause of all of the destruction, the portal, had a shimmering film inside its centre. A silhouette appeared before transforming into a man. He bent down and picked up the first journal. His hand was a perfect fit for the one on the cover.

"What... Who is that?" Dipper asked.

"The author of the journals," Stan replied, "my brother." There was a pause.

"Is this the part where one of us faints?" Mabel asked.

"I am _so_ on it, dude," said Soos, before passing out on the floor.

* * *

 **AN**

 **Chapter 2 is up a day early! Woot. I didn't enjoy writing this chapter as much because it's basically a rewrite of Not What he Seems, but I added a bit of Giffany goodness to it. My favorite part was probably the dialogue between Soos and the kids by the vending machine. Anyways, review if you have a chance please. I won't freak out at criticism.**


	3. Chapter 3

Soos was listening diligently to Grunkle Ford's and Stan's story. In the back of his head he was screaming about Giffany, but he concentrated on the stories. It turns out that who he knew as "Stanford Pines" was actually "Stanley Pines". The two had grown up together before they had a severe falling out. After their reunion went wrong, Stanfo— No, Stan _ley_ had spent the past three decades trying to get his brother back. Stan had just about finished his story when they heard yelling from above their heads

"I heard talking! It's coming from downstairs!"

"Oh no, we're finished, the agents are coming for us!" Stan exclaimed.

"What do we do?" Mabel asked.

"I was so enthralled in the story I forgot all about the issues of life," was Soos's comment.

"Forget… That's it!" Dipper yelled. He pulled one of the Blind Eye Society's Mind Eraser guns out of his bag. Soos wondered how the delicate bulb had survived.

"Of course!" Stanford exclaimed. "I don't know how you got your hands on one of these, but this is perfect. If I can just amplify the frequency to the radio headset frequency…" Ford ran over to a corner of the room, which had "TRANSMISSION STATION" written above it. He plugged some wires into the Mind Eraser gun and looked through a periscope; the government agents were rushing into the shack. "Okay everyone, plug your ears, GET DOWN!" Ford crouched, and everyone else followed him to the floor. Immediately after the wave passed through them, they rushed to the shack elevator.

"Sorry Soos, you're going to have to stay here." Stan said to Soos. "There's not enough room in the elevator for all five of us."

"Sure thing Mr. Pines. I'll call it back down when you get up there." As the Pines family rose, Soos leaned against one of the machines and looked around. The weight of what just happened crashed down around him. He collapsed in tears on the floor. It was _his_ fault that Giffany was gone. _He_ had tackled Mr. Pines unnecessarily. Giffany was gone forever. Because of _him_. He got up after letting out his emotions.

"Okay Soos, calm down. You aren't going to save Giffany like this. In fact you probably aren't going to save her at all." He walked over to the highly damage Universe Portal. Its' triangular shape had helped keep it intact despite the damage it had taken. Stumbling over rubble and large chunks of debris, he found himself standing in front of it. The white film that had existed within its' centre was gone and the electronics were dead. He sighed and walked back to the entrance, calling the elevator down.

"Maybe I can talk to Ford about it and get him to open the portal," he thought aloud. "Yeah Soos, that's a great idea! Then Ford will jump back in and everything will be back to normal." The sarcasm was dripping from his voice. "I'll just keep this to myself. Maybe I can get Ford to let me clean the lab and I can look around." The elevator doors opened for him and he climbed in. It was an old contraption, and he could feel the mechanism whining with the strain. He arrived at the top pretty quickly, and made the short climb up the stairs with ease. He pushed the vending machine open and saw the twins being sent to bed.

"Good night dudes!" He yelled after them.

"Good night Soos! Maybe tomorrow I can help put together your video!" Mabel said.

"See ya tomorrow Soos." Dipper gave a wave before walking out of view. Soos wandered to the front door. Stan and Ford were talking with each other, in much more relaxed tones than before. Not wanting to disturb them, Soos crept around to the side of the shack and got into his truck. Cruising away he saw the older Pines twins walk back into the shack.

* * *

The day after, Soos was lying on his bed.

"Yo, Wendy, are you busy today?" Soos asked over the phone. He had already spoken for two hours with Melody and he was out of people to go to.

"Uh, not really. My dad's out with my brothers on a 'lumberscapade'. Looking for some sort of rare tree." Wendy paused before continuing. "Wanna hang out or something?"

"Yeah, that sounds like it could be fun. Where should we meet?" Soos never usually hung out with Wendy away from the shack and the twins.

"How about Circle Park? Calm, relaxing, and boring."

"Sure, sounds good Wendy! I'll see you soon." Soos hung up the phone and waved goodbye to his Abuelita.

"Soos, aren't we going to watch the season finale of Ducktective together?" She asked.

"That's tomorrow Abuelitas."

"Ah, yes, I forgot. Today is 'Why You Ackin' So Cray-Cray?' day."

"Yeah, have fun with that." He closed the door behind him and got into his car. The drive to the park was uneventful. He parked and walked over to the benches. Wendy was already there. Sitting down beside her, he started the conversation.

"Yo Wendy, how's it going?"

"Good. I heard some major stuff went down at the shack yesterday."

"Yeah, it turns out Stanford is actually Stanley, but Stanford came out of a secret portal underneath the shack." He held himself back. "My electronic friend got sucked into the portal too, so that was a bit of a downer."

"Your electronic friend? You mean… Tiffany, right? Dipper told me about that."

"It was- no, it _is_ Giffany. She kinda tried to kill me and the people I love, but we're good now. Except I put her on a USB stick and dropped it into the Universe Portal. Not only is she gone, she's not even in this dimension anymore…"

"Hey, Soos, do you think you can get down to the portal again? I read somewhere that the first part of tackling your grief is acceptance, so if we go see the portal thing is never going to turn on again you'll get over it super quick." Soos knew what Wendy was talking about, but wasn't sure if he'd agree. He knew that Ford wouldn't want him down there, but maybe just the walk to the shack would be enough.

"Sure, we can go to the Shack. I have a feeling Ford won't want me down in the lab again, but maybe I'll get lucky."

They walked to the Shack through the woods. Wendy's phone started buzzing.

"You found it?" She asked. "Yeah, okay, I'll be there in a second." She flipped her phone closed and looked to Soos. "My family found the tree, and they want me to cut it down. Good luck Soos," She began her exit until Soos called out.

"Hey, Wendy, uh, thanks man."

"No problem. I thought you might need someone to be with after yesterday."

"One more thing. Can we keep this between us?"

"My lips are sealed." She grabbed a vine and used it to whip around a tree and out of sight.

"And the great Soos is alone again," He mused as he marched forward. Soon enough the Shack was in front of him. The workers were done for the day, so it was quiet. Stepping through the front door, and over some random pieces of rubble, he noticed that it was empty. Soos recalled Stan wanting to go to the Lake today to catch up with his brother. Which meant… He was all alone! He punched the air before rushing over to the vending machine. It responded immediately to the combination, and he headed down the stairs to the elevator. He stood uncertainly at its' entrance before climbing in and heading to the third basement floor.

* * *

Soos walked through the lab. It looked like Ford had started cleaning the place up; some of the bigger pieces of rubble had been moved, and most of the valuable experiments that had been knocked down were back in their places. The area in front of the portal was completely cleared. A toolbox sat on the ground beside it. A quick look through by Soos told him Ford intended on taking apart the machine.

"Well, I didn't have a chance to say this yesterday, so here I go." He looked at the portal, the hole surrounded by grey symbols. "I enjoyed being with you Giffany. Despite your slight character flaws, you totally got over them. You were great to talk to. You always knew the right thing say… So bright. Like that symbol right there, which is getting brighter and looking slightly foreboding," Soos was referring to a symbol on the right of the portal, which had started glowing red. He quickly backed away, aware of what the portal could do. A second later the red glow had spread to all of the symbols.

"Did I break it? I didn't touch it though!" He scrambled into the control room and looked at the panel. It was off, but the analogue dials were displaying increasing energy levels. Strangely enough, the fuel was displaying as empty. "This is bad! I need to shut it down!" He ran out to the portal room again and hurried to the side wall. He turned two of the keys, and reached for the third with his foot. "Come on, come on…" he muttered. The portal was getting louder, and he was starting to feel a familiar feeling in his gut. His foot finally turned the key, and he dashed to the emergency shutdown button. "To quote one of my friends, this all stops now!" His hand made the arc from the air to the button uninterrupted. Nothing happened.

"Uh, maybe I pressed it wrong." He pressed it again. Still nothing. He looked behind him and saw electricity flying everywhere from the portal. "What's the point in an emergency shutdown if it doesn't work!?" He yelled while pushing it faster and faster. While gravity was still pushing "down", he was feeling increasingly lighter. "Well, I guess what happens happens," he said to himself after giving up on the button. The portal let off an extremely bright flash and Soos was forced to close his eyes. The portal let out an explosion of electricity from its centre, which shot out onto the floor. As suddenly as it had started, it ended. Soos felt his weight pushing down in full force again. He opened his eyes and looked around. Other than the emergency shutdown button he had opened up, nothing seemed to have changed. Gravity hadn't been too severely affected. Brushing himself off, he made to leave. He paused when he heard a voice.

"Soooooos…" It was coming from all around.

"Uh, hi mysterious voice, I'm just going to leave." He headed to the door again.

"Wait Soos, it's me, Giffany." Soos froze. It sort of made sense.

"Uh, where are you?"

"In your USB." He noticed his USB stick sitting on the floor by the portal. He walked over to pick it up. "Wait, I want to show you something." The stick started to sputter, vibrating slightly on the spot. A flickering hologram of Giffany appeared above it. "How are you, Soos?"

"In shock," he gasped. "How did this–" he gestured at her "–happen?"

"I don't really know. After I fell into the portal, I was stuck in some sort of place where I could do anything. I fixed up my coding and added this hologram feature. What do you think?"

"It's amazing! You're still alive!" He ran forward and grabbed the USB stick off the ground. Her image flickered, but somehow stayed in the same place. "Hey, can you move through electronics like before?" She didn't say anything, instead opting to show him. Her hologram disappeared and she traveled through the computers in the room. Some of them let off beeps that worried Soos. She finally made it back to his USB. "Hey, Giffany, why don't we go upstairs." He walked to the elevator. Her hologram disappeared and her voice came out of his pocket.

"Good idea. I want to see the world!" Soos was anxious; he knew he had to ask something, but he didn't know how to phrase it.

"Hey, dude, about us just being friends, is that still applicable?"

"Of course Soos! No romance for me!" Soos fidgeted.

"And you're not going to hurt my friends? Or anyone else, for that matter."

"If you don't want me to, Soos."

"K' Giffany, that means a lot to me." He rubbed the USB with his thumb.

"Hee hee, that tickles!"

"One more thing… Promise you'll keep hidden? I don't think any of my friends would like to see you for a while."

"I promise."

He left the underground lab, this time with company.

* * *

 **AN**

 **Hey guys, how'd you like chapter 3? I tried including Wendy, because I haven't really written much of her yet. The ending was what inspired this fanfiction originally. Feel free to review, especially if there are spelling or grammatical errors. Thank you!**


	4. Chapter 4

Despite the Mystery Shack's state of disrepair, Stanley had confined Soos to only fixing little things; at least until the free city construction workers were done.

"Hey, Soos, up for a little game of D and D and more D?" Dipper asked Soos.

"Sorry man, that's a bit too much 'D' for me. Mr. Pines, er, Stanley wants me to fix the stairs to the attic."

"Oh. Well, thanks anyway Soos," was Dipper's reply. Soos shimmied by Stan through the door and started work on the stairs. There were nails sticking out everywhere and he didn't understand how the kids had made it up and down without killing themselves. When he was near the top of the stairs and almost done, there was a scuffle downstairs. He finished replacing the floor board he was working on and wandered down.

"Is everything okay gu—" he was cut off by an explosion, which sent him into the wall behind him. He was buried by a stack of poster cards and Mr. Mystery bobble-heads. After wading himself out, he saw that everyone had left, and there was a huge hole in the wall. "Well, this isn't good for insulation," he remarked as he checked the damage. "Hey, everyone's gone. That means I can bring out Giffany!" he reached into his pocket and pulled out the USB. A hologram of her had already started to form.

"Hi Sooos!" she sung.

"Hey Giffany, wanna help me fix this wall?"

"Sure Soos. I just need to scan it." The USB let out a harsh light that was cast over the wall. A hologram of the wall appeared in the hole, which Soos stepped through.

"Huh, neat man. Can you give me a guide on where to start?"

"Sure. Just a momblent." The hologram of the wall and Giffany wavered. Soos heard the Shack photocopier and grabbed the latest print off of it. The text near the top was slightly garbled, but it cleared up by step two.

"Hey, thanks Giffany," he said as he walked back to the destruction zone. A quick look over the instructions showed he would need a back saw, 50 screws, and a 'hamber'. He pulled the necessary tools out of a closet and set them up outside. He noticed some Ducktecktive plushies around the TV, and realized today was the season finale. "Oh no! I need to call Abuelita and tell her I'm going to be late." He grabbed the phone and called.

"Hello?"

"Hi Abuelita, it's Soos. I won't be able to watch Ducktective with you. There's a big hole in the Mystery Shack wall and I can't just leave it there." He fidgeted.

"Oh, it's okay Soos. I've been hearing rumours that it's not going to be a good episode." Soos sighed.

"Thanks Abuelita. I'll see you soon." He hung up the phone and looked up. Giffany was watching him.

"Let's get fixin'," he said as he marched outside. The materials were not hard to find. Many trees had been knocked over during the portal activation, and he also had extra drywall in the attic.

"How has Melody been doing?" Giffany asked. The question made him slightly uncomfortable, but he answered anyways.

"She's doing good. We talk every other day or so long distance, and it's been working out."

"Well that's good to hear Soos!" She frowned. "Maybe one day I can see her."

"Yeah Giffany, that'd be cool. Just not yet. She might not respond to your existence so well at the moment."

"That makes perfect sense Soos. You're so smart." He smiled and continued his work. The printout by Giffany had all of the necessary measurements, so he could keep his measuring tape's use for the pieces he was cutting and not for the hole itself. In almost no time at all, he had everything ready. He pulled out his electronic screwdriver and put it all together. "Yet another amazing repair job by Soos, and his best friend Giffany." They stood there admiring his handiwork until they heard voices from the woods.

"… You're so lucky Stan!" That was Mabel's voice drifting through the trees.

"Quick Giffany, I need you to hide," he said while grabbing the USB stick.

"Of course Soos. Sleep mode activating…" The hologram disappeared just in time; Stan, Dipper, Mabel, Ford, and Grenda had just emerged from the forest.

"Hey guys!" Soos greeted. "Where were you?"

"Oh, a crazy math wizard came to life and abducted Ford and Dipper, the usual," answered Stan. "He also blew down the wall of the shack, so I'm going to— holy square root of pi!" He was standing, mouth wide open, staring at the fixed shack wall.

"Seriously Grunkle Stan, 'square root of pi'," chided Dipper. "That's the type of thing Great Uncle Ford would say."

"That Probabilation guy rubbed off on me a bit," he turned to Soos again. "How did this wall get here? Last I checked it was all over the ground."

"Well, Mr. Pines, my powers as a handyman got a bit out of control. And I had a friend help, but you wouldn't be interested in that."

"Yeah, let's get ready for Ducktective!" Grenda bellowed as she ran through the (open) front door. As everyone else filed into the Shack, Stan stopped while passing Soos.

"Listen, Soos, feel free to stick around and watch Ducktective with us," Stan offered. Turning over the USB in his pocket, he declined.

"Sorry Mr. Pines, but I promised my Abuelita I'd be home."

"To each your own," Stan called behind himself as he stepped through the Shack door.

* * *

It was the day after the Ducktective finale and Giffany was watching Soos work on his computer. He was editing the video he had taken with Mabel earlier that week. The TV upgrade had gone exceptionally well, and he was going to make an extra-long video for this week.

"So that's Mabel?" asked Giffany.

"Yeah, that's Mabel. She's great to be around." He added a close-up of her face to the video. "She has a twin brother called Dipper, who you met at the pizza place."

"Ah yes, they were the tiny enemies…"

"Uh, tiny enemies?"

"Oh, it's nothing," she waved it off. Her gaze flicked toward his phone a second before it started ringing.

"Hey Soos, how's it going?" came Dipper's voice through the phone.

"Uh, good man. Is there anything you need?"

"Are you up to mystery solving right now? I've got something at the shack that'll be a two person job."

"Sure man. I'll be down in a sec." Soos shut down his computer and turned to Giffany. "Hey, I'm going to be going down to the shack. Wanna come with me?"

"Of course Soos! Maybe I can help you." They left the house and got into his car.

* * *

Dipper was standing on the Mystery Shack porch when Soos drove up.

"Hey Soos, glad you could come." He clasped journal three tight to his chest as he approached the truck. "There's been something weird going on at the shack that doesn't match anything in the journals."

"What's going on?" questioned Soos.

"I've been noticing things disappearing," he explained. "Specifically money. Grunkle Stan's been getting suspicious, but I know it's not Mabel, and I definitely didn't."

"Well, let's get to work," said Soos as he pulled himself out of his car. "Maybe we can set a trap for this thief." He pulled a crumpled up dollar bill from his pocket. "Think this'll work?"

"Don't see why not. Let's set it up in the back so the tourists aren't staring at us." They headed around the shack. Soos could hear the sounds of Mabel and her friends in her room. "So I was thinking about it, and me documenting this mystery might impress Great Uncle Ford."

"Yeah, that makes sense," agreed Soos. "If the thefts are by a magical creature, of course. I don't think he'd be interested in an everyday robber." They arrived in the back and Soos placed his bill on the ground. "What do we do now?"

"Now…—" Dipper made a dramatic gesture with his hands, "—we wait."

"That's pretty cliché dude. How about we hide behind the couch." They made their way to the porch, and hunkered down behind it. Their heads poked out from around it and watched intently. Only a few minutes later a green clad midget was creeping toward the bait. Dipper glanced at Soos with a look that said 'now what?'. Soos shrugged, then tried to illustrate an attack plan with his hands. Dipper nodded and crept around the backyard. The creature was smoothing out the bill when they both jumped out at the same time.

"Stop right there!" yelled Dipper.

"What he said!" chimed Soos. The little man looked up, his eyes wide, and made a break for the woods. The move was extremely predictable and Soos easily got himself on top of him.

"Oh come on!" the creature exclaimed. "What do you want!?"

"We just want to know why you've been stealing from me and my family!" Dipper answered.

"It's not stealing! I was obviously going to give it all back!" the creature wiggled. "Would you mind getting off me?"

"Promise you won't run," demanded Soos.

"I promise, just let me breath." Soos got up and the man straightened himself.

"What type of creature are you?" Dipper inquired. He had somehow held onto the journal during the struggle and his pencil was ready to write.

"I'm a leprechaun." He answered. "I 'acquire' gold through various means."

"But… why would you steal paper money?" asked Dipper.

"I make trips to various gold stores and buy from there."

"Why don't you steal from them?"

"Those people don't leave their gold lying around, unlike you cabin-folk." Dipper was writing down facts about the Leprechaun, his pencil flying through the page. Without looking, he asked more questions.

"How did you get into the Shack?"

"I picked the lock."

"With what?"

"Magic, of course."

"Where do you keep your gold?"

"In a ca— Oh, really, you thought I'd tell you that easily?" The leprechaun scoffed. "Not going to happen."

Dipper shrugged. "It was worth a shot. Do you think you can keep him here Soos? I'm going to go get Great Uncle Ford."

"Yeah man, St. Patricks not goin' anywhere." The leprechaun rolled his eyes.

"My name's Finnigan," he corrected. "Your friend's not very nice, is he?"

"Dipper? He's nice. As long as he's your friend, that is." Soos took a good look at the Leprechaun. He had a hat that seemed to be stuck to his head, as well as a black belt around his waist. "Just a heads up, Finnigan, Dipper's great uncle is probably going to ask you a bunch of questions too." Finnigan rolled his eyes.

"Can I pay you to let me go?" He created a stack of gold coins in his hand and offered it to Soos.

"Sorry man, but Dipper told me to keep you here and that's what I'm gonna do." The back door of the Shack opened. Dipper ran out, with Ford trailing behind him.

"I doubt you found a leprechaun," Ford was saying. "The only thing I've found close to a leprechaun was a leprecorn, and those are nothing to get excited abou—" He finally stepped through the door and saw Finnigan. "I stand corrected." He strode forward and offered his hand to the leprechaun. "The name's Ford. Pleasure to meet you."

"Uh, sure, if you say so." The leprechaun stretched his hand out and shook with Ford. "Can I go now?"

"Not quite yet, I'm afraid." Ford replied. "I've heard you've been stealing from the Shack, and I can't just let you walk away with that." The leprechaun looked deflated. "But I've heard leprechauns like coffee, and we have some inside." Perking up, Finnigan followed Ford inside. Soos and Dipper looked at each other, then back at the door when Ford poked his head out.

"Thanks Dipper, we can talk about this later." Ford smiled and went inside. Dipper fist-pumped and hugged Soos.

"Thank you Soos! That leprechaun wasn't going anywhere with your help."

"Aw, it was nothing dude." Soos started walking to the front of the Shack. "Can you tell me how Ford's talk with the leprechaun goes tomorrow?"

"Yeah, of course. I should probably go tell Stan who's been stealing his money." Soos walked over to his car and waved Dipper farewell. He had only just gotten into his seat when Giffany materialized beside him.

"That was fun Soos! You really crushed that small man." She grinned and looked at the road ahead.

"Yeah, it's always nice helping the twins. Hey, when we get home, would ya like to play Tiger Fist 3 with me?"

"Yeah Soos! That'd be fun." Soos smiled. He had intended on video chatting Melody, but that could wait for tomorrow.

* * *

 **AN**

 **Hi guys! I was sort of surprised by the favorites, follows, and review for last chapter. It really makes it more enjoyable to write this story when I know other people are reading. This chapter could be considered two in one: fixing the wall and catching the leprechaun. My apologies if it felt a bit disjointed. Thanks again for all of the input guys! Until next week, au revoir.**


	5. Chapter 5

The next day was Monday, Soos's favorite day. First day of the week, and there aren't usually many customers. Stan was keeping him busy with jobs around the shack and by noon he was exhausted.

"Soos, can you help Mabel find her pig!" yelled Mr. Pines from the gift shop. "I'm a bit tied up here." Mabel came running into the break room and was by his side in an instant.

"Soooooos, Waddles is gone!"

"Where'd he go?"

"I think he went into the woods," she answered as she shook him. "You have to help me! He could be being mauled by a… A bear or something!" Soos put his corndog away and stood up.

"Sure thing Mabel. Just keep calm. I bet Waddles is just in a bush by the shack or something." He hurried outside with Mabel, but quickly realized how futile a search of the surrounding woods would be. The pig could have gone anywhere, and Mabel didn't even have a general idea. Soos spun in circles, as did Mable.

"Hey, Soos," whispered a voice in his pocket. He jumped and turned to Mabel.

"Hey hambone, I'm going to go check out back." He jogged around to the back of the shack and pulled out his USB. "What's up Giffany?"

"I might be able to find the pig for you guys. I just need to scan the forest for a bit."

"That'd be cool Giffany." The USB started glowing and a faint laser started spinning around it. "I'll just leave you here then." He placed the USB onto a stone and went back to the front, where Mabel was crawling under the porch.

"Waddles! Wadoodles!" She edged deeper in, noticing the hole Dipper had fallen into.

"Hey, watch out under there dude." He lied down flat on the ground and peered under. "I've gotten stuck under there before and it wasn't nice."

"I'll keep that in mind Soos," she said as she crawled deeper. He watched her as she went around one of the building's corners.

"Soooos," came a voice behind him. He immediately stood up and turned to Giffany, whose hologram had walked around the shack. "I found the pig. He's across town by the… Northwest mud flaps factory."

"Oh, that's not too bad. At least he's not in some random place in the woods." He turned to look at Giffany, but she had disappeared. Behind where Giffany had stood was Mabel.

"Who where you talking to, Soos?" she asked.

"Oh! Mabel, I was just talking to my… phone!" He pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it in the air. "On a completely unrelated note, I have a strong feeling that Waddles is over by Northwest Mud Flaps!"

"Northwest Mud Flaps?" Mabel was confused. "Where'd you get that idea from?"

"It's just a hunch, girl-dude. Come on, you should get in my truck so we can go get him!" He motioned to his truck while thinking about his excuse.

"Yeah Soos, I guess we have to start somewhere!" She threw herself into the passenger seat and buckled herself in. Soos was about to do the same until he remembered Giffany's USB in the backyard of the shack.

"Hey, I just need to go grab something," he yelled behind him as he ran around the building. He grabbed the USB and quickly started talking to it.

"Where's Waddles now?"

"Waddles is… rolling around in a pile of leaves by the factory," she said. She added on that "he looks porched."

"I think you meant he looks 'parched'." He panted as he neared the corner of the shack. "Anyways, there's a river down by the factory so he should be—" His eyes widened. "The river by the factory!" He got into his truck and sped off.

"Woah, calm down Soos, Waddles shouldn't be in danger or anything," said Mabel. Soos turned to her.

"Remember Octavia the cow?"

"Oh yeah! She was so huggable. And laser-eyed…"

"Well imagine Waddles like that." Mabel's face transformed from an anxious one to a scared one.

"He could be eating birds with an oddly long tongue or… sprouting wings!" She pointed her hands forward. "Full speed ahead Soos!"

* * *

They arrived at the factory a few minutes later and pulled up to the front gates. Two industrial smokestacks towered into the sky, with toxic smoke pouring from them.

"Are you _sure_ Waddles is here, Soos?" Mabel asked. She was having doubts.

"Yes I am." He turned away from Mabel and whispered to his USB. "Is Waddles still here?"

"Yes, he's just over there." An arrow formed above the USB and pointed to one of the factory walls. Waddles was sitting by an open vent.

"Mabel, there's Waddles!" he pointed the pig out to her and she cheered.

"You were right Soos!" They both started running after the pig, slipping through a gap in the chain-link fence. They weren't even close to the building when they were stopped by a voice.

"Freeze! Put your hands in the air!" A guard was running toward them. Soos and Mabel skidded to a halt and did as the man said. "What are you two doing here?!"

"We were just chasing after my pet pig," Mabel replied. She pointed at where Waddles had been. The pig was gone.

"Yeah, that's what they all say," snorted the guard. "You two are coming with me for trespassing." The guard filed them inside, and into an interrogation-like room. He left them alone in there, and told them he would be back in a bit.

"What do we do Soos?" asked Mabel. Her eyes were shimmering and Soos knew she needed consoling.

"I'm sure once we've explained our situation to someone else we'll be let go. And Waddles might come home by himself. He's cool like that."

"Yeah, I guess…" She sighed.

"Cheer up man, I'm sure things will work out in the end."

* * *

They sat in that room for ages, Mabel pulling out a pair of knitting needles and starting a sweater. Soos was almost asleep when the door swung open.

"What were you thinking Mabel!" said Pacifica as she strode in. "And you brought your servant too!"

"Waddles ran away this morning and we followed him here," answered Mabel. "Oh, and this is Soos. He works at the Mystery Shack."

"Oh. Sorry about that, 'Soos'. Anyways, isn't Waddles the pig you got from the fair?"

"The one and only," replied Mabel. "We saw him go into this building and we chased him."

"Well, I can get some staff to look for him. Would you two like anything to eat or drink?"

"No dude, I think we should actually help look for Waddles," said Soos. "He might not come out for your staff." Pacifica nodded in agreement and pulled two cards out of her purse.

"These access cards will let you into _any_ room in the building. Try not to abuse them." She gave a wink and walked to the door. "I have a piano lesson in half an hour so I won't be able to help you two. Plus I'm not really an animal person." Her hair whipped around the door frame and she was gone.

"Good idea Soos. I was just going to ask for an iced tea and let Pacifica's minions do all the work." They stepped out of the confining room and found themselves in a hallway.

"We should split up man," said Soos. "We'll cover more ground that way."

"Another great idea. You're on a roll today Soosicle!" Mabel started walking away. "Pig recovery squad coming through! Waddles! Where are you!?" Soos sighed and turned to the opposite direction.

"Hey, Giffany, do you know where Waddles is?"

"Of course Soos. It's not like I have anything better to do than watch a pig. He's two floors down… in a small room with cleaning suppleez." Soos smiled.

"Thanks dude. We have gotta work on your pronunciation though." He opened the door of the nearest stairwell and started his decent. He got to the floor with Waddles and stepped out into a hallway. Giffany told him to go left, which he did. After a few more turns and taps of his access card, he found himself in a break room.

"The pig is just ahea…" Giffany's voice slowed down and stopped, while the ceiling fan started accelerating beyond what should be physically possible.

"Uhh, Giffany, are you doing this?" Soos asked, backing away from the haywire fan. He bumped into the door he had just walked through, but realized it was locked. The fan released a loud high pitched squeal before emitting a blinding flash. Soos held his hand up, and when he lowered it the room was lacking its color. He understood what was going on before a familiar voice echoed through the room.

"I spy with my all seeing eye, something that starts with YOU." Bill Cipher flew down through the ceiling.

"Bill Cipher! What are you doing here!?" Soos yelled.

"Oh, I just wanted to talk to you," he flew up to Soos and leaned on his shoulder. "A little personal chat, y'know?"

"Get away from me Bill! You know I can just blast you with my super-question-powers if I want!" He gripped the edge of his t-shirt, ready to pull it up and unleash his question mark beam.

"And I could tear off all of your skin and watch you bleed to death!" He floated away from Soos, and took his place back in the middle of the frozen break room. "Now, back to business. I see you have a _secret_ going on." An image of Giffany appeared in front of Soos. Bill continued speaking, using the fake Giffany to mime his words. "Oh, Soos, you're so funny! Oh, Soos, you're so smart. Oh, SOOS, you're SO NAÏVE." The fake Giffany vanished and Bill took its' place. "You're friends with the two people in town bent on finding out everything, and you think you can keep a secret!" Soos stood his ground as Bill edged closer.

"Well, I think I've been doing a good job so far!" countered Soos.

"Oh yeah, _such_ a good job. Check this out." A shot of Mabel searching for Waddles appeared on Bill's chest. Her thoughts were being spoken aloud.

"How did Soos know Waddles was here? Is he a magician? Is he hiding something?" Bill's body reverted back to its' normal yellow brick appearance.

"See, you even have Mabel sounding like Dipper!" Bill backed away from Soos again and floated across the room. He was looking at the opposite wall when he continued. "Of course, there's something you could do to guarantee your little friend stayed hidden."

"I don't care man, I'm never going to do what you tell me to." Soos closed his eyes and started willing himself awake.

"Wait wait wait, I'm not done yet!" yelled Bill, his arms waving around. Soos's eyes flew open again. "Yeesh, you're so stubborn. Aren't question marks supposed to be uncertain?" He conjured up his cane and pointed it at Soos's stomach. "As I was SAYING, by yourself you're hopeless, but with a little outside help I can _guarantee_ your little secret won't go anywhere."

"I'll think about it Bill. Now will you please go away? I need to help my hambone."

"Of course, we wouldn't want to keep Shooting Star waiting." Bill straightened his bow-tie and started rising toward the ceiling. "Until next time, remember my offer, read a book a day setyourselfonfiredon'tleavethestoveonBYEEE!" He vanished in a flash of light. Soos realized his eyes were closed and opened them.

"Soos, are you okay?" came Giffany's voice.

"Oh, sorry Giffany, I just sort of zoned out." Soos looked up at the ceiling fan. It was still spinning steadily. "Spooky…"

"I was telling you the pig is in the closet across the room." He perked up and ran over. The pig had wedged itself under a cardboard box.

"Hey there little ham-pig. I think it's about time you came home." He hoisted the pet onto his shoulder and started the walk to the administration desk. He would be able to use the PA system to summon Mabel.

* * *

Soos drove Mabel home. She had scolded Waddles, but quickly started snuggling him instead.

"How can I stay mad at the world's cutest pig?" She reasoned. Soos smiled. Mabel and Waddles were undeniably cute. "Oh, I meant to ask you Soos, how did you know where Waddles was? It wasn't just a guess, was it?"

"Uh, it's a long story. I'll tell you the whole thing sometime." Mabel looked at him skeptically but continued rubbing her face against Waddles. "I wonder if I'll get the rest of the day off for helping you," Soos thought aloud. Mabel laughed.

* * *

 **AN**

 **So I was worried this chapter wasn't going to come out on time, but I ended up writing more than half of it yesterday. Hurray! It turns out that the easiest way to thicken the plot is to bring in Bill Cipher. Expect him to return sometime in the future. He's really enjoyable to write.**

 **Also, thank you to everyone who has review so far. It's always motivating and informative for me.**


	6. Chapter 6

Soos and his Abuelita were eating burgers at Greasy's Diner, which had just been flipped back over after the portal activation. He was incredibly tired from the search for Waddles, and after missing his corndog lunch was glad to finally be eating. Lazy Susan had bought a new deep fryer and he thought the meat was great.

"Soos, Abuelita has noticed you have been a bit distant lately," his Abuelita said. "Is something going on?" Soos had been ready for this line of questioning, and replied quickly.

"Oh, there's just been a bunch goin' on at work, with the earthquake and all." He started taking a bite from his burger, but was interrupted by a buzz in his pocket. The burger hovered an inch from his mouth, and he realized too late he was just sitting there staring at it.

"What is it Soos? Are you sick?"

"No, I just have to go to the bathroom to, uh, powder my nose." He slipped out of the booth and jogged to the restroom. He hadn't even pulled out his USB stick when Giffany materialized in front of him.

"Soooos, why aren't you spending time with me?" She was frowning, and Soos thought she was going to cry.

"Well, I need to spend time with my friends too. If I don't they might get suspi-"

"Are you saying I'm not your friend!" yelled Giffany. A familiar anger was bubbling to the surface, and Soos tried his best to settle her down.

"No! I didn't mean it like that!"

"What _did_ you mean then?"

"I'm just trying to protect you dude! If anyone finds out about you they'll try to destroy you!" Soos realized how loud their discussion was and lowered his voice. Giffany didn't take the hint and continued even louder.

"I DON'T NEED PROTECTION! I can defend myself just fine!" Her pink hair was billowing behind her from an invisible wind.

"Oh Giffany, I didn't mean it like that! Just calm down and we can talk about this later."

"No, I'm not going to calm down. I'm going to smash open this window–" the bathroom window blew out of its' frame–"and I'm going to LEAVE!" The USB stick started glowing and rising into the air.

"Come on man, wait!" He rushed toward the newly removed window but the USB was already well on its way out. Yelling for her to stop again would be useless; she was already gone. Again. He sat down on a closed toilet seat and thought over what had just happened. Where would she go? Would his friends be safe? He decided to go look for Giffany. There was a possibility that she would hurt Dipper or Mabel, and he couldn't let that happen. He exited the bathroom, and was met with the stares of his Abuelita, Lazy Susan, and everyone else in the diner.

"Uh… Hi guys. I was just talking on my phone. With speaker phone on." He made it back to his booth, but didn't sit down. "Hey, Abuelita, I need to go. There's something urgent and my bros might be in trouble." She sighed and looked up at him. For that moment her age seemed to have doubled.

"Don't let me stop you Soos. I know you care for your friends." He bent down and hugged her before leaving and starting his search.

* * *

His first stop was the Mystery Shack. If Giffany was feeling excessively aggressive she could be antagonising the twins. He parked his truck in the driveway and hurried through the door. Stan was watching TV and laughing at a joke that had just been told.

"Hey, Mr. Pines, have ya got any idea where the twins are?" Stan didn't hear Soos at first and continued laughing. "Mr. Pines! Have you seen the twins!"

"Huh? Oh, Soos, they're upstairs. Everything all right?"

"Yeah, there's nothing to worry about." He climbed up the stairs and opened the attic door. "Yo dudes, how's it— oh, you guys workin' on a mystery?" The twins were lying on the floor, with papers surrounding them.

"Oh, hey Soos!" Dipper exclaimed. "What a surprise!" Dipper started flipping over some of the papers on the floor, but Soos still got a glimpse of some of them. There were pictures of him on a few of them. "We're working on… uh we're obviously doing—"

"We're studying for math!" Mabel butted in. "If we were to go back to school now we'd be in trouble." Soos didn't believe their fib, but decided not to press further.

"Well, I just wanted to check in on you two. I'm just going to leave now." He pulled his head back through the door and heard frantic whispering when it closed. He walked down the stairs much slower than before; at least he knew the twins were okay and didn't have nearly as much to worry about anymore. As for the papers on the floor, that was their business. The truck revved up and he pulled away, his next destination already figured out.

* * *

"Who wants to get badgered!" was the first thing Soos heard as he walked into Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree. A shiver ran through his spine when he looked to the stage. All of the animatronics were up and dancing again, but the crowd around them was much smaller than it had been a week ago. He made his way through the rows of still burned-out arcade machines and looked around. A quick peek in the kitchen showed nothing, as did a glance at the audience. It didn't take him long to search through the whole restaurant, but he came up with nothing. Defeated, and admittedly tired of being on his feet, Soos bought a slice of pizza. He formulated a checklist of places Giffany could be in his head. She could be at the game store, at the town square, in the middle of the forest; there were so many places she could be.

"Guess I should keep searching before it gets too late," Soos said to himself as he finished his pizza and left the restaurant.

* * *

Soos woke up the next day still defeated from his unsuccessful search. Giffany had apparently vanished, and he suspected she had gone into the woods to be alone. Since it was only Tuesday, he still had to go to work. He hoped fixing stuff around the Shack would help get his mind off of Giffany. He hugged his Abuelita before leaving.

"Abuelita will watch the television now," she said as he walked out the door. Soos got into his truck, and frowned when he saw the empty seat beside him. She might not have been there long, but she was nice to talk to. The whole drive there Soos kept an eye out for Giffany, but there was no sign she had been around town at all. If she was in the woods, which all the evidence was pointing to, how long would she last? After pulling up to the Shack, Soos put on a smile and relaxed. He would leave all of his worries in the truck. Not a second after he walked through the door Stan yelled out to him.

"Soos, Ford needs you downstairs! And by downstairs, I mean in his lab!"

"Yes sir Mr. Pines!" Soos realized he had to start calling Stan by his first and last names, with Ford around now. He punched the vending machine code in and took the elevator downstairs. Its crusted mechanisms whined in complaint, but still held strong. It came to a sudden stop and the door open. Ford's lab was completely cleaned of debris.

"Zeus, is that you?" Ford called out. He was jammed behind the universe portal, the contents of his toolbox spread out over the floor. Half of the portal was strewn out across the floor.

"Uh, the name's Soos," he corrected. "What did you want Mr. Pines 2.0?"

"Well, as you can see, I'm taking apart the portal, and I thought a pair of extra hands might help." Soos nodded and stepped forward. "Do you think you can help me lift off this conductor ring?" Ford hooked his fingers around an edge and Soos did the same, and soon it was on the floor too. They worked that way until there was little of the portal left. They had started taking apart some of the larger metal pieces that were on the ground, and Ford asked Soos to go get his magnet gun. "It should be in the cabinet marked 'Electromagnets'." Soos walked over to the control room and quickly found what Ford was talking about. He opened up the cabinet and saw there were multiple tools. He quickly found the magnet gun, but his eyes also noticed a device labelled 'Electronic Anomaly Detector'. It was small and rectangular, with a short antenna sticking out the top. Soos realized it might be useful and jammed it into his pocket. He brought the magnet gun to Ford and they finished deconstructing the portal with it.

Soos was standing outside of the Shack, trying to get the Electronic Anomaly Detector working. He flicked every switch on it, spun around in circles, and waved it over his head, but nothing he did had gotten it to turn on.

"Maybe it's broken," he muttered before pulling out his screw driver and taking off the back. "Or the battery's in backward." He flipped the battery around and closed the device. It started whirring the moment he pressed the 'on' button. It started emitting an electronic scraping noise, which got louder when he pointed the device to the forest. He guessed that was where he had to go. He started his march into the forest, wondering what he would say to Giffany. He didn't have far to go before he came across a clearing. Giffany's USB stick was lying on a stone, and it was emitting a soft glow.

"Hey, Giffany, it's me," he called out. Her form started materializing in front of Soos. She looked sad, and the anger she had held the day before was gone.

"Hi Soos, how are you?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter how I am, what's been goin' on with you?" Soos had noticed Giffany also looked tired and slightly transparent.

"I've been better Soos. I'm starting to run out of power and it doesn't feel good." Soos immediately started walking over to her USB, but she blocked him. "I don't need your help Soos. I'll just stay here by myself. At least I'll feel more wanted that way."

"Come on man, I was just trying to keep you safe. Just wait a couple weeks and I'll re-introduce you to Melody." Giffany sighed.

"I know you care about Melody more than me Soos. Even if she's not even here."

"Giffany, I haven't talked to Melody in days just to spend more time with you." Giffany looked surprised.

"Really Soos?" She smiled and started to calm down. The corners of her lips started to rise. "That means so much to me Soos! Thank you!" Soos was shocked by the sudden change in emotion. Giffany must have wanted to go with him in the first place, based on her quick change of heart. He grabbed her USB, and together they walked out of the forest. Soos had a nagging feeling something was behind them, but when he checked there was nothing. It was probably a hide-behind.

* * *

Soos had let Giffany charge in his computer overnight, and she was back to her normal self when they drove to the Shack the next day.

"So the Gobblewonker turned out to actually be a robot controlled by Old Man McGucket!" Soos finished. He had started telling Giffany about the adventures he'd had that summer.

"That's cool Soos! What happened to Old Man McGookit?"

"Oh, we told him to go talk to his son. I'm not sure if he did though." He pulled up to the Shack and turned to her. "You're going to have to disappear for now dude, but I'll make sure to find someplace private later so we can talk again." Her USB was already in his pocket, so all she had to do was terminate the hologram.

"I can't wait Soos!" came her voice from his pocket. He smiled and stepped out of the truck. He was approaching the front door of the Mystery Shack when Dipper and Mabel both stepped out. Dipper had a cautious look on his face, and Mabel seemed on edge as well.

"Hey guys," Soos greeted. Dipper put his arms on his hips and glowered at Soos.

"We know about Giffany, Soos," he said. Soos froze.

"What are you talking about?" Soos looked to Mabel. "Are you supporting him with this hambone!? He has no evidence to support his claims!" Dipper smirked and reached for his journal. Inside of it were pictures from the last couple days. Some of them had Giffany in them, some just had Soos talking to himself, and others had both of them.

"I'd call this evidence, Soos," Dipper said. "Now will you please give us Giffany so we can destroy her?"

"Destroy her!? No way man. She's my friend." Soos stuck his hand in his pocket and squeezed the USB. "And I don't think she'd agree with you killing her either."

"Kill her? Soos, she's a computer program," Dipper stated. "You can't kill something that isn't alive."

"She doesn't actually have feelings except _bop boop_ kill this person and _boop bop_ be nice to this person." Mabel added, doing a robot impersonation.

"I don't wanna fight guys. Just let me go my way and we'll pretend this never happened." Dipper and Mabel shook their heads.

"You know what the supernatural can do Soos," Dipper said. "Just hand over the USB and we'll give Giffany to Ford." Soos was about to refuse again, but the USB stick suddenly buzzed and Giffany's hologram appeared. She looked annoyed, but Soos was relieved to see she wasn't looking murderous.

"Hey Dipper and Mabel, would you mind leaving Soos alone." She looked down on them in the same way a teacher would look at a young child. "He's my friend too, and I won't let you hurt him." Mabel stepped forward.

"Really Giffany, you've already hurt us before. You could do it again, too, and that wouldn't be good for anyone." Dipper pulled a gun-like device out from behind his back.

"And in case you try to kill us now, Ford gave us—"

"—You stole," Mabel cut in.

"Okay, we _borrowed_ Ford's electromagnetic pulse gun, and we're not afraid to use it." Soos's eyes widened, but Giffany seemed unfazed. Instead she seemed to sneer at them.

"I assu-ure you that any weapon you use will be useless against me. Now, can Soos please go to work?" The twins paused and looked at each other before saying in unison:

"No." Giffany reacted immediately. She took two steps forward and shoved herself into the kid's faces.

"I don't want to hurt you! Just leave us alone!" Dipper and Mabel recoiled. Dipper raised his the electromagnetic pulse gun and fired it at Giffany's hologram. A chunk of her arm vanished, but immediately appeared again. She backed away from them. Dipper fired again and her other arm was hit. It also rematerialized, and Giffany didn't seem damaged at all. "Kids," she sung in her electronic voice, "I'm just a hologram. You can't permanently hurt meee." Mabel stepped back, and tried to pull her brother away too, but he held his ground.

"Come on guys, you don't need to fight," Soos tried to interfere. He was ignored by everyone.

"Well, I might not be able to damage your hologram Giffany," Dipper said, "but you're USB stick should still be vulnerable." He pointed his gun at Soos, who backed away with his hands in the air.

"Uh, dude, just put the gun down," Soos pleaded. Dipper frowned, but kept it steady.

"I'm sorry Soos," he whispered before pulling the trigger. If he had done it a second earlier, he would have been successful too. Unfortunately for him, Giffany's USB had launched itself out of Soos pocket. It started whipping around them, and Dipper was firing erratically. The USB stick was moving too fast for him to hit.

"Dipper, get down!" Mabel yelled. Dipper did as Mabel suggested and flattened himself on his stomach. Giffany's hologram tried to block his shots, but he continued firing. Despite her attempts, he finally got a direct hit on the USB. The flying USB went crashing into the ground, and the hologram of Giffany blinked out.

"Giffany!" Soos yelled. "What did you do to her Dipper!" He hurried forward and got on his knees. He picked up the USB. It showed no signs of life. "She didn't want to hurt anyone guys. And now you she's dead! You killed her." Soos cradled the USB in his hands, and both twins crept up to his side.

"Soos, I'm sorry." Dipper said. "I thought she was going to kill us." Soos looked up at them, and shook his head.

"It wasn't your guys' fault. I should have told you right away so you wouldn't come up to conclusions." They all hung their heads. Mabel couldn't believe what they had just done. Dipper couldn't either, but he was starting to come up with an idea.

"Hey Soos, what if we plug that USB into a computer. Do you think it could read it?" Soos looked up to him and thought for a second.

"Maybe… Why don't we go to my house and try it." The trio ran over to Soos's car, and he took off. The twins were determined to fix what they had done, and with a bit of luck Giffany would be okay.

* * *

 **AN**

 **Wow, this is the _longest_ chapter yet. It was partially fueled by the Gravity Falls finale, which was in my opinion amazing. As for this chapter, I'm sorry if Giffany feels forced. My thought though is that she's sick of being stuck in Soos's pocket, but she was holding it in before. I would also like to thank everyone who has review so far. It is the biggest motivation for me to keep going.**

 **Just a** **side note, when Dipper puts his arms on his hips, I had originally written it as him putting his arms "akimbo". Search it up, it's actually a word!**


	7. Chapter 7

Dipper and Mabel were squeezed on the passenger seat, with Soos hunched over the steering wheel beside them. None of them spoke. Mabel looked anxiously at Dipper, but he was too deep in thought to notice. His hat was crooked, and a portion of his birthmark was showing. She reached out and readjusted it. Dipper gave her a small nod, but remained silent. Soos could feel the tension in the air, and felt it was his job to relieve it.

"Hey, dudes, you don't have to feel so bad. It was all of our faults." Dipper looked up at Soos gloomily.

"But you didn't pull the trigger Soos. That was one hundred percent me."

"And me!" Mabel burst out. "I helped him make up his conspiracy theory!" Dipper gave her a sideways glance. She turned to him and gave a small smile. "Don't feel bad Dippy, I'm sure we'll find a way to fix Giffany."

They pulled up to Soos's house, and crowded into the entry way. Yanking the USB stick out of his pocket, Soos and the twins hurried into his room.

"Just let me boot this thing up, guys." They all crowded around the computer, air thick with anticipation. It hummed as it loaded its antivirus softwares, and before long it was ready. Soos jammed the USB in, and a message came up on the screen.

 _Corrupt files detected: disk format required._

There were three options: "Yes", "No", and "Search online for a solution". The trio glanced at each other, before Dipper spoke out.

"We can't format it, that'd be idiotic. How about we… Er…" Dipper trailed off, and they continued sitting in silence.

"What if we zap her!" Mabel squealed. After earning the stares of Soos and Dipper, she continued. "She could be having a heart attack right now, and all we'd have to do is electrocute her."

"That is the dumbest thing I've heard you say this week, Mabel," Dipper said. Soos stroked an imaginary beard.

"That's actually not a terrible idea, hambone." He felt his pockets. "Any of you have a Taser?" After getting dual negatives from the twins, Soos got out of his chair. "To the mall! Maybe they'll have something there." They got into his pickup again, this time with slightly less urgency.

* * *

After loading their pockets with possibly useful electronics supplies from the electronics store, Dipper, Soos, and Mabel gathered behind the mall. They didn't want anyone to see them electrocuting a USB; someone might question that.

"What should we do first, dudes?" Soos asked after spreading out the supplies.

"How about the TASER!" Mabel squealed. Dipper looked up at Soos.

"Do you think giving Mabel a Taser is the best ide—"

"Zap!" Mabel yelled as she pulled the trigger. Two needles flew out of the gun, and clattered into the concrete. The USB stick glowed momentarily at the current, but became still again. "That was fun!"

"Uh, actually, let's never do that again," Dipper said. "Now we're covered in these pieces of paper." He was talking about the tiny strips of paper that had followed the needles out of the Taser.

"It's confetti Dip Dot! It's a confetti gun!" She loaded another charge, but Dipper quickly stopped her.

"Why don't we play with the Taser later. Right now we sorta have to bring Giffany back to life." His eyes scanned through the devices and spotted the super bright disposable camera flash. "Let's try the camera flash. It might not be as strong as the Taser, but it should deal a more concentrated blast." Soos reached for it and pulled out his screwdriver. After working on it for a minute they had exposed the camera flash's wires. He positioned them on both sides of the USB.

"Here goes nothing," he said as he pressed the trigger. There was a bang, but nothing happened. They continued through the pile that way, giving each thing a few tries before moving on. All of their knees were sore from the concrete by the time they reached the end.

"What next dudes?" Soos asked them. "Do you think Giffany is… gone?" The twins grabbed Soos's hands and squeezed.

"It's going to be okay Soos. We just need someone good with electronics." Dipper and Mabel's eyes met, and they both said in unison "Old Man McGucket! He'll know!"

* * *

Soos eased the truck through the dump gates, making sure not to scrape it along any loose pieces of trash. Old Man McGucket came out to greet them as they got out.

"By howdy, it's you again! Glad to see y'all survived the earthquake." He ushered them into his shed. "Since seein' my memories I've been actin' lots more normal! Even my wife agrees with that." His raccoon wife screeched at them from the ceiling. "So what'd y'all want here anyways?" Soos stepped forward.

"Well, I have a USB stick that needs a jump start. Do you have something with a mega voltage we can use?"

"Mega voltage? I think I have just the thing!" He started rummaging through a pile of electronics and pulled out a metallic box. It had a nuclear symbol emblazoned on its side, and was covered by a jumble of wires. "Can ya pass your thingy over here?" Soos tentatively stretched his hand out and placed it in McGucket's hands. McGucket hooked it up to the convoluted device, and started pushing them out of the workshop.

"What is that thing you're using McGucket?" Dipper asked as he ducked behind the door.

"Oh, an old contraption I used for the Gobblewonker. It's illegal in twenty six countries." After a flash and bang from inside, they crept back in. The USB was sent across the room, and had knocked over a few hanging raccoons.

"Did it work?" Mabel whispered. The USB started glowing, and a hologram appeared above it. What appeared to be code was being displayed, too fast for anyone to read. They watched as the cascade of code started morphing into a feminine figure.

"INITIALIZING LOGIC PROCCESS," a robotic voice spoke. The USB was letting off a low hum that began rattling everything in the room. "RECALIBRATING AWARENESS MODULE." Dipper wondered how the stick was making any noise at all without a speaker. "PREPARING GIFFANY APPLICATION." The group huddled in the corner as the USB grew increasingly more erratic. It knocked a couple pots and pans off a shelf in its frenzy. "ACTIVATING," it stated in its dry voice. The hologram of code that had been accumulating finally finished transforming, and Giffany's figure stood in front of them. She looked at them darkly, but remained silent.

"Uh, hi Giffany!" Mabel greeted. "I'm Mabel, you tried to kill me a few weeks ago!"

"And I'm Dipper," he said as he stepped forward. Giffany's eyes flicked between them until they fell on Soos.

"Soos!" she exclaimed. "What happened?"

"Oh, well, my bros here sorta accidentally thought you wanted to kill them again, and shot you. With an EMP gun." Noticing her glare at the kids, he quickly continued. "But they're cool now." She eased up slightly.

"Hello Dipper and Mabel. Soos has told me all about you." Her frown turned into a tight smile. Mabel turned to Soos and smiled.

"Do you know what we're doing next, Soos?" she asked.

"Uh, are we going to go eat pizza and tell scary stories?" he guessed. Mabel pouted.

"Noooo. Isn't there someone you have to tell about Giffany?" The blank look on Soos's face quickly changed into one of comprehension.

"Melody!" He started running to the truck, but Dipper held him back.

"Why don't we calm down and walk for now," he suggested. Soos smiled.

"Good idea. Melody's not going anywhere." They bid farewell to Old Man McGucket and got into Soos's pickup. The twins sat in the back, while Giffany took the passenger's seat.

* * *

Soos had left his computer on from before, so they didn't have to wait for it to turn on. Dipper and Mabel stayed in the kitchen with Abuelita, explaining Soos deserved some privacy with Melody. Mabel less willingly than Dipper. The video chat was quickly answered by Melody, who was holding a cup of tea in her hand.

"Hey Soos, what's goin' on? You haven't answered my calls lately." Soos gave her a sheepish look.

"Well, there's a perfectly logical explanation," he said. "Remember that electronic girl that tried to kill us a few weeks ago?"

"At Hoo-Ha Owl's? How could I forget her?" She took a sip from her drink and continued. "What about her?"

"Well, she's, uh, still _around_." Melody froze.

"Should I be worried?" Melody pressed.

"No, no, it's cool. In fact, here she is!" Giffany almost literally burst out of her USB stick and took up the entire screen. Melody yelped and spilled her tea. Ignoring the spreading puddle on her desk, she greeted Giffany.

"H-hi Giffany. It's nice to see you looking so… so energetic." Giffany pushed her face into Soos's webcam and smiled.

"Hi Melody! How are you doing!" Giffany's voice was distorting and the pitch changed with each word.

"I'm doing great. Maybe in a slight state of shock, but fine." Melody tried looking behind Giffany, but her figure took up the whole screen. "Er, mind moving to the side a bit so I can talk to Soos too." Giffany backed away and stood beside Soos.

"So what do you think?" Soos asked. "She's perfectly friendly, and I'm totally not in any danger."

"It's cool, she's cool. But I have a few questions; like, for example, why isn't she on a computer screen anymore?"

"Oh, it's a long story," Soos began. They spent the rest of the night talking, and at one point the twins walked in and told their part of the story too. By the end of the story Melody was tired. Everyone was tired, and they were glad to go to bed.

* * *

 **AN**

 **Whew, that's chapter 7. I was worried I wasn't going to get this done because I got a bit distracted by one-shots. They are actually extremely entertaining to write, and they seem to garner more favorites and reviews than this one. Still wanna keep going with this one though. Just a bit of spoiler for the next episode, the next one is going to be an alternate version of the Stanchurian Candidate.**


	8. Chapter 8

The next day was an early morning for the kids. Dipper and Mabel had stayed at Soos's house for the night, and he had to drive them.

"So how _did_ you survive, Giffany?" Dipper asked. "Soos told us he fried you."

"I sent a backup of myself to his computer before I was destroyed. Then… A bunch of stuff happened and I am here now!" She did a small dance in her seat.

"The 'bunch of stuff' that happened was actually pretty intense," Soos said as he joined in the conversation. "I put her on a USB stick, and then dropped her into the portal!" He paused. "By accident of course." Mabel gasped.

"No way! How did she get back?"

"Well she… uh… I don't actually know dude. The portal just opened."

"I powered it from the other side," Giffany explained. "The dimension I got stuck in had a lot of extra energy!" The twins looked at her with a renewed sense of awe.

"We're here dudes!" Soos said as they pulled up to the shack. They climbed out, Giffany returning to the USB. While the plan was to introduce her to Ford and Stan, they wanted to do it slowly.

"We're home Grunkle Stan!" Mabel yelled. They walked in, but found the shack was empty. They searched through every room, and only found a burnt out lightbulb in the kitchen.

"Where'd he go?" Dipper wondered. They were in the gift shop when they heard a distinct hiss. The vending machine popped open and Ford slipped out.

"Hello kids. Soos." He started walking to the kitchen. "Did you have a nice stay last night, Dipper?"

"Yeah, it was fun. Something happened there we have to tell you about."

"Later, kids. Right now, I need to test out my latest invention." He screwed a lightbulb into the kitchen socket. It started glowing with a soft, natural light. "Fantastic! Gnome extract on a titanium filament was the answer!"

"Uh, did you say 'gnome extract'?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah, I had some from a while ago. It takes years to go bad, and it's highly rea—" The front door of the shack slammed open, followed by a low muttering. Stan walked into the kitchen holding a box of lightbulbs. His face had multiple bruises, as did his arms.

"I thought we were out of lightbulbs," he said.

"We were, so I invented this brand new lightbulb," Ford explained. "It'll last a thousand years, and the light it casts softens the skin of all in its vicinity."

"It's so… so soft," Soos sighed.

"So, where were you?" Ford asked. Stan didn't answer, instead dumping his box of lightbulbs into the trash.

"Yeah, yeah, you're so smart," he grumbled as he left. After standing in the kitchen in silence, Dipper spoke.

"So, uh, Great Uncle Ford, Soos has something to tell you." Ford climbed off of the stool and sat down. Soos sat at the table as well. He didn't really want to tell anyone else about Giffany, but it was better to do it now than let Ford jump to his own conclusions.

"See, Mr. Pines 2.0, I have this friend." He pulled out his USB stick and placed it on the table. "Her name's Giffany. She's an artificial intelligence." Giffany's hologram appeared above the USB stick, and she had to crouch down to avoid going through the light.

"Hello Mr. Pines!" she greeted. Ford backed away immediately, the stool clattering to the side of the room as he got up. He pulled out a gun with two metallic prongs on the ended.

"What are you!?" he exclaimed. "Where did you come from!?" Giffany reacted to the yelling immediately, and disappeared.

"You scared her Grunkle Ford!" Mabel cried.

"She's not going to hurt you, she's a friend," added Dipper.

"B-but what was that?" Ford asked. He had lowered his gun, but was still on edge. "What is an 'artificial intelligence'?"

"An artificial intelligence is like a dude. In a computer." Soos defined. "She used to be in a video game, before she went on a homicidal rampage and tried to kill us."

"That is fascinating. It's like… Space Invaders brought to life!"

"Uh… Yeah, that sounds pretty cool and outdated." Ford examined the USB on the table.

"How did she appear though? Where did she come from?"

"What you just saw was a hologram," Soos said. After a confused look from Ford, Dipper clarified.

"It's a bunch of light in the air. It looks real, but it's not actually there." Soos leaned toward the USB and whispered. The hologram of Giffany appeared again.

"Hello Mr. Pines," she said in a quieter voice.

"Hello… Jiffany?" he said.

"My name is Giffany," she corrected.

"Wanna hear a fun story about her?" Mabel asked. Ford did. "She almost died! For a while she wasn't even in this dimension!" Ford froze.

"What do you mean?" he asked slowly. Before Mabel could answer, Soos butted in.

"Uh, before you came out of that portal thing, it was doing all sorts of weird stuff. I dropped her USB in while floating around and she disappeared."

"But how did you get her back?" Ford said.

"Well, you dudes were out on a fishing trip, and I went down there to che—"

"You went into my lab without my permission?" Ford cut in.

"Well, yeah, I wanted to see if she was gone for good." Ford gave a huff but let Soos continue. "So I went down there, and then suddenly the portal started activating! All on it's own." This seemed to concern Ford. "Her USB came out, but she had given herself superpowers on the other side of the portal."

"Superpowers?"

"Well, she couldn't appear off of computer screens before, and she was pretty weak too." Giffany gave Soos a look.

"I was not weak, I was only injured." Ford ignored this exchange and began questioning Giffany.

"What did you see on the other side of the portal, Giffany?"

"A lot of stuff. I was in a weird place where I could do anthyding. I fixed myself up, and when I heard Soos's voice I opened the portal again!" Ford looked worried, before letting out a sigh.

"At first I was worried Bill might power up that portal from the other side, but I disassembled it a few days ago." His relief was quickly interrupted by the stares of the twins.

"Bill… Cipher?" Dipper asked.

"Bipper…" Mabel whispered ominously.

"You've _dealt_ with him before?" Ford asked.

"Yeah. He went into Stan's mind and we attacked him with kittens and stuff. It was really awesome," Soos explained.

"And he possessed Dipper and made him hurt himself!" Mabel added. Dipper rubbed his arms.

"That was _not_ fun." Ford looked between the three of them.

"This is a very serious revelation. Bill Cipher is the most dangerous being I have ever encountered." His demeanour darkened. "If all of you have met Bill, it means he's up to something." He got up and began leaving. "I am going to go do some research; try and figure out what's going on. Until then, do _not_ let him fool you. I'm sure you've been made aware of his trickery by now." After that, they split up. Soos had some work to do, and the twins wanted to play some board games.

"That stuff with Bill's pretty creepy," Soos said to Giffany.

"Yes, he's not a very nice character," Giffany agreed.

"Field trip!" Grunkle Stan yelled from downstairs. Soos, Mabel, and Dipper all eagerly ran out front. Stan was already waiting in his car. "We're goin' to the town hall!"

"Town hall?" Dipper asked. "Why, Grunkle Stan?

"For reasons completely unrelated to me, the mayor died!" Stan merrily explained. "They're havin' a meeting for a replacement and I thought we should go check it out." After buckling up, they started the drive through town. "So how'd the stay at Soos's go?"

"It was fun!" Mabel answered. "We stayed up late and talked to Melody!"

"That's your girlfriend Soos, right?" asked Stan.

"Yeah," Soos confirmed. "We talked all last night. Not in a weird way of course." They sat in silence after that. There were a surprisingly large amount of people at the hall. People who had no interest in being mayor and just wanted to watch the proceedings.

"Good morning Stanford," Bud Gleeful greeted. He was wearing his trademark pink flower shirt, but his straw hat was nowhere in sight. "Just lettin' ya know in advance who's gonna be mayor." He pointed to himself and winked.

"Have fun with that," Stan said while speeding up. They sat near the back, the four of them taking up a whole bench. Sheriff Blubs made his way to the front of the room and addressed the crowd.

"Calm down everyone! We're all here to choose a mayor for the first time in almost a century!" He pulled a scroll out of his pocket and uncoiled it. "Now, according to the town charter, a worthy candidate is defined as anyone who can cast a shadow, count to ten, and throw their hat into the provided ring." Deputy Durland placed a hula-hoop onto the ground in front of the lectern. A straw hat immediately landed in it.

"I do believe I fulfill all of the requirements," Bud Gleeful announced. Dipper and Mabel shifted.

"Bud as mayor wouldn't be a good thing," Dipper whispered to Mabel. "Unless he plans on letting Gideon out, which would be _really_ bad." Bud Gleeful had gotten to the front of the room, and he had a smug smile on his face.

"Now folks, I know my family's had a few whoopsie daisies in the past, but I'd like to make up for it by formally announcing my candidacy as new mayor for Gravity Falls! Does anyone have any questions?" Toby Determined got out of his seat. He was gripping a turkey baster.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have one! Are you still in contact with Lil' Gideon?"

"That's a great question. In fact, it's so good I'm offering you fifty percent off a new car!" Toby started shouting.

"Fifty percent? FIFTY PERCENT OFF A NEW VEHICLE!" He ripped his notepad apart and started throwing the resulting confetti into the air.

"But wait, there's more. Everyone look under your seats!" Bud yelled. They all did so, and found their own fifty percent off fliers. " _You_ get half off a used car!" He started pointing to people around the room. " _You_ get fifty percent off a used car. This whole _room_ gets fifty percent off a used car!" Mabel pulled the paper out from under her seat and started folding it.

"Cool, we all get coloured paper!" she giggled.

"This is bad…" said Dipper. "If Ford were here, he'd run and win. He'd be way better than Bud." That was the last straw for Stan. Bud was preparing to take the mayoral oath when a red fez fell into the hoop.

"Hold it right there Bud, I'm takin' you on!" Stan exclaimed. Bud looked surprised.

"Stanford? No offence, but you're just some two-bit carnival barker. And your head is more ears than face!" Stan brushed the insults off.

"Oh yeah? Well your face is more fat... than... not fat!" Everyone gasped at Stan's comeback.  
"Are we just gonna let Bud win guys?" Stan asked the room. They cheered.

"Get in there, get in there," Tyler cheered. Every threw their hats into the hoop. Stan stood at the front of the room, relishing in the excitement. Bud Gleeful leaned toward his ear.

"I was gonna let bygones be bygones Stan, but you just made a powerful enemy. I'll win either way, and when I do, you might not like the Gravity Falls you wake up in!" He punctuated his threat with a punch to the town map behind him. Soos gasped. He didn't want Stan to get hurt.

Sheriff Blubs had loaded the antique city cannon while everyone was distracted. "Let the madness… begin!" He shouted. The cannon went off, blowing a hole in the town hall. "That… was probably not a good idea," Deputy Durland commented.

* * *

 **AN**

 **Sorry for this going up a day late. I got a bit wrapped up in some of my other stories. On the bright side, next week is Spring Break, so I'll have way more time to write. Next chapter should have more action; this one was sort of the intro/exposition.**


	9. Chapter 9

"Grunkle Stan, you really need to think before you speak," Dipper lectured. Stan had just been cut short from his radio interview, after insulting the American flag, stating he would change the education system to a "Lord of the Flies" program, and almost admitting to committing crimes.

"Come on kid, I just answered their questions truthfully," Stan said. Dipper huffed.

"What's the damage Candy?" he asked. She scanned a bar chart on her computer.

"You're approval ratings started at zero," she stated. "Now they're lower than zero." She flipped the laptop around. It had a graph showing Bud Gleefuls approval rating and Stan's. Bud's was at a modest forty percent, while Stan's was somehow negative twenty.

"You should probably recheck those numbers, kid," Stan said. They all turned to Wendy, who had lift her phone up.

"You're memeing fast, and none of them are good." A picture of Stan was on the screen, with the caption ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY "TEACH KIDS SWEARS".

"Look Grunkle Stan," Mabel explained, "people are like smell markers, and you're black licorice! It's not that you're un-sniffable, you just need to learn when to keep the cap on." Stan frowned.

"From now on, maybe you should read our prepared remarks." Dipper pulled a sheet of paper out of his pocket. Stan snorted.

"Sorry kids. I always say words that come out of my brain. If my head says 'that lady's got an ugly baby', my mouth says, 'whoa, lady, you got one ugly baby.'" Dipper and Mabel glanced at each other worriedly.

"Ha… That's a great plan…" Mabel said. Dipper hurried out of the room into the giftshop. Soos had watched the entire scene unfold from the side of the room. Wendy wandered over to him, flipping through a gallery of Stan memes.

"Mr. Pines is doomed," Soos said. Wendy nodded.

"Yeah. The teenage community's having a blast though." She held her phone up for him. There was a picture of Stan looking at the camera, with his hands on his chin. It was captioned "I DON'T USUALLY RUN FOR MAYOR, BUT WHEN I DO I DON'T HAVE A PUNCHLINE". Soos laughed.

"That's not bad dude," he said. Wendy looked at him with a flat expression.

"He might not know it, but Stan's losing the campaign online. And none of us can do anything about it. You're the only one with a decent computer, and, no offense, you just don't have the memetic touch we need." They stood there, before Soos had an idea.

"I might not have the touch, but I know someone who might! Yo, Giffany, can ya come out?" She materialized between them. Wendy took a step back.

"Uh, that's Giffany?" she asked. Giffany nodded.

"The one and only! What did you need from me Soos?"

"Well, I thought you might be a good internet advertiser."

"Internet… atomizer?" she asked.

"No, internet _advertiser_. You get to make stuff to go online, and then Mr Pines'll win the election!" Giffany seemed confused.

"Uh… Okay! Just show me what to do." Soos looked around the room. Stan was watching TV, and the twins had disappeared.

"Hey, Wendy, wanna come over to my house?" Soos asked.

"Wait, what?"

"To teach Giffany how to meme," Soos clarified.

"Oh, yeah, sure man." They bid Stan farewell and headed to Soos's house. They arrived quickly, in part due to Soos's speed. "How's it going Abuelita?" Wendy asked.

"Oh, it is good. Abuelita was just listening to the mayoral radio broadcast." Wendy cringed.

"How did you like it?" she asked.

"It was good. Stan is trying hard, and Abuelita respects that." Wendy and Soos walked to his computer and Giffany appeared on the chair.

"So what do you want me to do?" she asked.

"Uh, this is more Wendy's department," Soos said as he sat down on his bed. Wendy knelt down beside GIffany.

"So, uh, I'll show you what we need." She opened the internet browser and navigated to the site she had on her phone. "See these pictures?"

"Yes."

"Do you think you could make something like this? It's called a meme, and they'd be good for Stan's campaign." Giffany scanned them, before turning to Soos's computer again. The screen started sparking, and multiple programs started flashing open and closed. She had found an online database of memes, and was scanning it as she worked. They were all staring at the screen intently, and after a minute of furious working a picture came up. It featured Stan looking thoughtfully to the side. It was captioned "IF STAN GETS ELECTED FOR MAYOR… WOULD LAW BECOME OBSOLETE?". Wendy smiled.

"This isn't bad Giffany. How many do you think you can make?" Giffany's hologram rippled as she calculated.

"I think I can make approximately nine nine nine nine nine…" she trailed off. "I can make a lot! Would you like me to?"

"You bet! If you keep pumping these out, Stan'll win in no time." Soos smiled as well.

"I don't get the joke, but if you make more I bet Mr. Pines would appreciate it." Giffany nodded at the two of them and turned back to the computer.

"If you think this is good, I can create as many as you need." The computer's screen began flashing as she went to work again. Meme after meme was generated and posted to the Gravity Falls city Facebook page. Wendy and Soos exchanged looks.

"I guess we just leave her to it," he said as he got off the bed. Wendy nodded and they left.

~~BREAK~~

"Yo, Giffany, wanna go see Stan's first speech?" Soos asked. He had stopped by at his house to pick her up. She flickered and a couple beeps came out of the computer.

"I-Y-A-XWO-ULISORRRCANnOTGO—" Her voice was a garbled mess, and there was a robotic tin sound in it. She paused and coughed. "S-sorry about this Soos, but unfortunately I cannot join you. I am very busy." She smiled. "Want to see something funny?"

"Quickly dude, what is it?" Soos approached the computer screen. There was a picture of a dog with Stan's face on it. It was running around the screen, and caught Soos gaze. It crouched down and leaped from the screen, turning into a hologram. Soos stumbled backwards as it's weightless form landed on him.

"Uh, hi creepy Stan-dog."

"Do you like him?" Giffany asked.

"Uh, yeah, he's pretty cool." Suddenly similar dogs began pouring out of the screen, filling the room with a cacophony of barking. The sound was deafening, and Soos scrambled for the door. He shut it behind him and panted. "I'll leave you to it Giffany, he called behind him before heading out again."

~~BREAK~~

"Hiya there!" Stan Pines greeted. A large crowd had gathered to watch him. "Let's get real. Do you think the women of Gravity Falls wear too much makeup?" A quiet murmur ran through the crowd. "Uh, what I meant to say was… You ladies all look great. And have you done something with your hair? Girl, you are working it!" The crowd relaxed at his compliment.

"That is exactly what I needed to hear!" a girl in the back yelled. Stan smiled.

"I'm Stan Pines. You may know me as the guy who accidentally let all those bees loose in that elementary school a few years back." Soos turned to Wendy, who shrugged. "But I believe in things. America. Freedom. Ameri-freedom!" A man dressed in stars and stripes cheered.

"He's saying all the right things!" he yelled before breaking into tears. Stan continued.

"Like my opponent pointed out," he said, referring to Bud, "I may not have a pretty face, but if you want a candidate that will listen to you, well, I'm proud to be all ears." The crowd cheered again. Stan made his way to the front of the stage. "Now watch me break it down!" He started dancing, doing the worm, a moonwalk, and finishing on the ground.

"Mr. Pines sure knows how to charm a crowd!" Soos commented to Wendy. She nodded.

"And have you seen the turnout of teens? Giffany's a pro at the internet." A group of highschool kids were huddled near the back of the gathering, laughing at their cell phones. Soos smiled and peeked over their shoulders. Post after post was being uploaded, and each one brought a chorus of giggles.

"She's a natural I guess." Soos remembered the weirdness he had run from in his room, and decided he should probably get back there. "Hey dude, I've gotta go. Tell Mr. Pines he did amazing." Soos hopped into his truck and left the still cheering function.

~~BREAK~~

The door to his room was still closed, and Soos eyed it with uncertainty. He swung the door open and peeked through. The Stan-dogs had disappeared, but Giffany was still at the computer. Her hologram was flickering weakly, but the screen still flashed by at the same speed.

"Uh, hey dude," he greeted. She turned to him and waved.

"Hello Soos…" Her voice was weak.

"You're advertising is working well," Soos informed. Giffany nodded.

"I-I have gotten many likes and follows, and TambryLOL has been keep track of all of my posts." She gave a half-hearted smile.

"Listen dude, I think you need to take a break. You've been goin' at this for hours."

"But I can't stop now. Give me a bit more time and I'll rest." Soos shrugged.

"If you're okay with it, I guess you can work more. Mr. Pines needs all the help he can get." Soos climbed into bed and closed his eyes. The glow of the computer continued to light up the room, and the occasional beep repeatedly interrupted his sleep. When Soos woke up in the morning, he was greeted with an odd sight. Giffany's hologram had disappeared, and on the computer screen was a pixel image. It showed Giffany slumped on a desk sleeping. Soos got out of bed and nudge the USB.

"You awake, Giffany?" he asked. The screen blinked and her hologram reappeared. She looked as tired as the image on the screen.

"Hi Soos… I must have become asleep…" Her eyes drifted to the screen again and windows began opening again. Soos knocked on the desk to get her attention.

"Yo, dude, how late did you stay up?" She paused her work.

"My last conscious back-up was performed at… 5:25 a.m." Soos did a double take.

"Five twenty five! Come on man, ya gotta get some sleep!"

"Computers don't sleep," she replied. "Besides, the internet is a great place. Why should I leave it?" Soos huffed.

"I hate to do this, but you've gotta take a break." He grabbed her USB and walked out. She didn't put up any resistance, but could be heard grumbling from his hand. "To the Shack!" Soos announced as he climbed into his truck.

~~BREAK~~

Soos pulled into the Mystery Shack driveway just as the Stan-mobile pulled out. He caught a glimpse of Mabel waving wildly at him, and smiled. The drive had been a quiet one, with Giffany either silently pouting or too drowsy to speak. The giftshop was still open that day, with Wendy manning the counter as diligently as usual. Soos waved at her on the roof as he walked in. He was considering today a search-and-destroy day; there were no big jobs, but he knew there were many small things just waiting to be fixed.

He eyed the vending machine as he patched up the counter. Ford had hardly left his lab since Stan's run for mayor. The identity confusion would be a pain, and he was always busy anyways.

"What does he work on, anyways?" Soos asked himself as he replaced a screw. The counter had been loose for days, but no one had bothered doing anything about it. He had just finished his work when there was a hiss across the room. He peeked over the counter and saw Ford walking to the kitchen.

"There is no end of the rainbow," he grumbled to himself. Soos followed and made his presence known.

"Hey Mr. Pines, what's up?" Ford's eyebrows furrowed.

"I can't tell you… but I can show you." He poured a glass of water and headed back to the basement. "You've been exposed to weirdness before right?" He called behind him.

"Yeah, those twins are like a weirdness magnet." Soos followed.

"Well, you'd better buckle in, because I've got something downstairs that's going to… rattle your cage? People say that, right?"

* * *

 **AN**

 **I'm really, really sorry for the delay on this chapter. I sort of realized I had a life beyond Fanfiction, and my time to write was hacked. As for the story, I'm taking it a bit slower while I figure out what's going to go on. Stay fresh, and I hope next chapter will be up faster.**


End file.
